Death of a loved one is painful. Period. But when death of a loved one is sudden and tragic, it pierces us through the heart and squeezes everything out… down to the bone. In shock, we begin to live one day at a time, numb and in a daze. We’re haunted by guilt and remorse re-thinking the event. Dark thoughts can wake us up at 3 a.m. “What if” questions – woulda, coulda, shoulda scenarios circle our head and then we break down in shame for not being able to prevent tragedy. We can’t find the words to make sense of it as we are processing the feelings of sudden loss and emptiness. The love and gratitude that will forever go unexpressed, lost opportunities, and especially the final unsaid goodbye…….pain.
Life is fleeting. It’s true, we just never know what tomorrow brings. Memories – they are all we have to hang on to. Memories last a lifetime. Whether our memories are good or bad, we take them with us everywhere we go…always.
Grief is definitely a process. They say, ” Just give it time. It takes time to heal.” Maybe that’s true for some. But for others – time only allows us to function ‘as expected’ while learning to live through the process of pain management. This is the meaning behind Itachi’s words – “Time doesn’t heal….”. Because we never forget. Our memories are embedded in every cell of our being. Death of a loved one changes us forever. And we are transformed yet again, in the midst of our own personal journey.